We Are ALIVE!!

So this is the start of my second 

FULL week back at work. 

If you aren't following me on Facebook

then I'll fill you in about some recent changes. 

The Monday after we arrived home

after having Elia,

I got a phone call from the boss

for a position I applied for in September.

I got a heads up about an upcoming opening for this position

by my current boss prior to having Elia. 

Well, She called and offered me the Job

that I had already applied for. 

I started on the 18th back at work as a

Targeted Case Manager for Vera French Mental Health Center. 

I worked at VF previously since 2009 

and hopefully now am settled in 

to a position for a little while. 

So I started work. 

PHEW..

Holy Moly,

this was a lot more difficult than I had thought about. 

I never thought i'd be able to get out of the house in time

and not be late for work. 

Well we survived, and 

for the most part we are all doing well.

Elia did have her 2month doctor visit on the 12th,

and she is 10lb 12oz, 21 3/4 inch long and is going great. 

See..

She fell asleep while I cut her nails before her bath. 

Too cute!!

and..

 And these are her new diapers. 

We use the Bumgenius Elemental All in Ones

and she LOVES them. 

I know you might think i sound crazy for knowing how much she

LOVES them but seriously. 

She can sit in these bad boys for any amount of time

and not care it's full. 

EVEN POOP!

Sorry I said it. 

But when our washer broke and we had to order new parts

I wasn't about to hand wash her diapers, 

I know, bad mommy. 

SO we used the disposables we have stashed and 

she'd barely go to the bathroom and scream and cry until she gets

it changed.
That's probably why we went through 11 boxes of diapers in a 2 months. 

Oh well, we're back on them!

I changed her diaper at this 5am feeding and

she fell asleep once her head hit the pad

and stayed until i finished. 

She's so silly. 

I might be a little more worn and exhausted but she is worth

it and I have to remind myself of this,

when i reach for the second 

thermos of coffee. 

For a fake coffee drinker, 

I'm really depending on it these days. 

Hope you all have a great day!

Need to feed Elia again,

and then off to church. 

If only her Dad could get up to join us!!!

Sleepy heads!

-Cassie

Bringing Elia into the World (Part 2)

So I know it has been a while, 

and for that I apologize. 

We've been busy soaking up as much

family time as possible

and now, tomorrow

is my first day back at work

since having Elia. 

Definitely a hard week. 

But I thought, I really need to finish her birth story

before I head back. 

For me, hopefully

this is closure. 

I've obviously been seen by many doctors

both for her and I since having her

and explaining this experience,

I still cry. 

I want that to change. 

So here's here we left off...

After telling Dr. J that I didn't feel his 

lack of "encouraging" words were helping

I remember sitting on the table thing

and just looked at him crying.

I told him that just because I'm diabetic

and I'm not past 2cm dilated doesn't mean

I will necessarily have complications. 

and he then continued to try more to 

convince me that yes, it doesn't mean I WILL

but I could and hurt myself and her. 

I remember him asking me

over and over what I want to do. 

HELLO, i'm sitting here, 

alone, almost 40weeks

pregnant,

uncomfortable with a LARGE amount of 

fluid,

tired, wanting my unborn child to be healthy and okay

and I don't know what to do. 

I told him, 

This is what I want,

I want to deliver Elia as naturally as I can, 

with the option. 

I want to have her on Friday, 11.11.11, 

her due date unless she decides to come on her own. 

I want my husband and younger sister in the room with me,

and I'm obviously okay with being induced.

The entire time I was telling him this, 

he rolled his eyes and smiled. 

When I finished, 

he laughed and said,

"Well, that's not going to happen."

How's Wednesday for you?

I asked him, "WHAT?"

He told me that since he is gone Friday on vacation,

he can't,

and Thursday he is too busy in the office

and doesn't want to schedule anything extra.

So Wednesday am, sounds good?

UGGH, I couldn't believe him.

I didn't want this. 

I continued to tell him this is NOT what I want. 

That all i wanted was to keep to our

birth plan as much as we could.

So far, I am getting nothing for the 

experience I've thought about, 

wanted, 

dreamed about and prepared for.

I was certainly not mentally prepared for this experience. 

He told me again,

Well go home to Austin and see what he has to say,

and get back to me tomorrow, 

we can still schedule your C-Section tomorrow 

for Wednesday. 

I raised my voice and told him

there is no discussing this with Austin. 

I am a woman, I am the one pregnant

carrying a baby girl

and I AM THE ONE TO DECIDE.

Austin is NOT the one going to tell me what I want to do

and frankly, Dr. J, 

Austin would be pissed as much as I,

that you aren't listening to me, 

when he's going to be there making sure

I am getting the care I WANT and NEED.

He stood there cold, with his arms

crossed over his chest and said,

I remember this like it was yesterday,

"Well, I can't sit here all day watching you cry."

Just schedule the C-Section,

have a baby girl, 

no complications,

and the deal is over. 

I just put my head down and cried. 

alone. 

He just watched me. 

We had been in his office now, for almost an hour 

and a half. 

I asked him if this was his wife what would he do,

knowing she wanted NOTHING of this.

He said, I would tell her I wouldn't want

a dead child. 

And I would tell her she's having a c-section.

No questions. 

After sitting there being so upset,

so alone,

and completely appalled that this man, 4 days before

was the kindest, most compassionate Dr. I had found for an OB

here 

has changed so much.

I no longer trusted him,

or what he would do to me if I 

decided to have it. 

I asked him what the procedure would be like,

and what we had to do.

All I remember hearing while my worst

nightmare was becoming a reality

was..

5:30am,

nurse gets you prepped,

Anesthesiology comes in.

your wheeled into the OR,

Austin's allowed in,

i cut you open.

after 15 minutes,

pain and complications free

you'll have a baby.

just that. 

After a few minutes just feeling like

I had no choices,

I had nothing left in me to fight him,

he wasn't listening,

he didn't care anymore,

it was just for his convenience,

he said, in the most annoying chipper voice 

as he walked eagerly to the door,

Okay, Wednesday it is. 

and left. 

After I sat there crying for a few more minutes 

his younger nurse came in and 

said, 

Dr. J said to go see Tracy and she'll get you the

paperwork.

I have to get the room ready 

for the next patient. 

For me this was a dream. 

This wasn't happening.

I had no idea who this doctor was,

I had no idea who I was looking at,

or what I was getting myself into.

Before I left that room, I felt Elia kick. 

I hadn't remembered her kick the entire time

we were in there 

"talking"

My face was all red,

tears strolling down my eyes. 

Tracy looked at me and she started 

getting tears in her eyes.

She handed me the papers

and said softly,

"cheer up hunny, good luck Wednesday"

The entire room was full of woman. 

I remember this one woman, 

who i've seen a couple times,

she seemed pretty far along in her pregnancy

just look at me and her

facial expression changed to such a sad look.

frown almost. Maybe she too was ready to cry with me. 

I walked to the car and as soon as I touched the outside door 

from the building,

I just blew out crying. 

So hard. 

I waited in my car crying until I could speak 

to Austin. 

I think it took 10 minutes almost. 

I told him, 

and I was so numb I don't remember anything but

telling him I have a c-section scheduled for Wednesday

November 9th and we had to be there at 5:30am. 

I don't remember anything else from that day. 

After a few hours i finished paperwork at the house

and cried myself to a nap. 

I ignored all phone calls and texts' 

from family asking how my appointment went. 

I just couldn't tell them.

Austin came home, we talked about it.

I can honestly say, I've never seen my husband

so upset in all my life with him. 

the next day, Tuesday, 

I called Dr. J's office, 

and told them I did not want to have a c-section tomorrow,

I was not happy,

He treated me very badly in his office,

I want to try to have her naturally,

and that is it. No more 

discussing "options".

Tracy then gave the phone to his main nurse

and she then told me,

well, there is nothing she can do,

because I can't have her on the 11th, 

because he is gone and for some reason,

we cannot find any of  your paperwork 

before this past week.

I told her you are kidding me. 

I have been in your office, for the past 3 months, twice a week,

then before that twice a month for 3 months before that. 

And you are telling me, ______, that you no longer have 

any of my records from yesterday?

She confirmed, Yes that is true. 

I told her  you guys are seriously a joke. 

That is such a lie. How can you magically lose all of my paperwork 

overnight.

He knew how he spoke to me yesterday, and 

how unprofessional and rude he was.

I will not accept that answer, ____. 

She then said here, I'm giving you to Darcy. 

So I then had to explain to her. 

I'll keep it short by saying, 

I wished I would have hung up the phone on her.

She told me "he never goes on vacation"

"he deserves to go on vacation"

"he works very hard, and long hours"

"he has a stressful job"

"for his mental health he needs to go on vacations when he can schedule them"

I stopped her, and told her

no one needs to talk to me about HIS MENTAL HEALTH. 

I then told her, I was no longer speaking

and my husband will take care of it. 

I hung up. 

Austin then made phone calls to and from 

Dr. J's office, 

the previous OB office i went to trying to get in,

and even talked with his boss's doctor. 

Dr. J's office gave him the same line of BS that I got too. 

The only thing of importance said, was that,

we could come in and talk with Dr. J at 1pm

but if we need to cancel for tomorrow they need to know asap

because the Hospital doesn't appreciate

or can't handle

when scheduled cancellations happen.

the old OB office i went to, said at first they would ask the doctors,

then we got the okay.

then I got a phone call, 

as I hadn't called them at all, 

Austin did

and a different lady called me quickly after they got off the phone with Austin

and told me that

they now feel i am too much at risk,

that my BP is elevated,

My diabetes is not well managed,

and my excess fluid is too much of a liability for them 

to take me on as a patient again. 

I just hung up the phone. 

None of this information was accurate. 

Since when is an A1C of 5.3 uncontrolled

or a BP at 40 weeks pregnant 100/62 average bad

and yes, I did have more fluid, as all diabetes 

often carry more, which

is no harm to any of us.

I told Austin, he said Darcy must have called them

since he had JUST gotten off the phone with 

a different lady at the old OB office. 

From there, I turned in all my finished paperwork

to my boss.

Texted our family and told them we are having

a c-section tomorrow morning,and we will give them all the 

details when it's finished

and we aren't talking about what happened, just 

need to be at peace. 

The next day we showed up at the ER,

and as we left to check in, 

I saw Elia' name written in the caulk surrounding the window

of the ER check in. 

I looked at Austin,

held his hand

we both looked at eachother and shed a few tears while he took this photo.

The lady looked after asking what we were taking a photo of.

As we walked to the elevator,

we both just kept saying,

this must be a sign we will both be okay.

Then we had to convince the nurse who was going

to be getting me ready and in the OR

that we didn't want this decision but that

we don't want to be mad anymore.

Austin took these last photos of me

pregnant on 

11.9.11

I did find out, from that fantastic nurse,

that you can come into the hospital

with out a doctor

and they will help you.

She kept trying to tell us, 

we can fire him right now, and see someone else.

But I just needed to stop being mad and to 

meet Elia. 

then after being 11 minutes behind schedule,

it took exactly

11 minutes for her to be born

and at 7:22am we had Elia.

She was born at 7:22am, weighing 8lb 4 oz

and 19 1/2 inches long.

No signs of any complications or problems. 

Everyday I remind myself how lucky I am

to have her,

how one man made that day a day, I didn't want yet,

but the prize of dealing with that emotional 

week ended when we had 

our little girl. 

She is everything, and we are so lucky that

God blessed us with this 

beautiful, healthy, growing

little girl. 

Elia Irene Kimler!!

Two Months...

Little Girl you are

two months old on 

Monday. 

Where does time go?

You used to be just a little bug at 8lbs and 

shrinking.. all the way to 7lbs

and then you started growing more.. and more

 at just 2 weeks old at the Festival of Trees Parade

To hanging out with friends before Christmas

to bathtimes with Momma

 

at almost 5 weeks 

 to at Five weeks....

This is how I carry you during the day so you

sleep and let Mommy do things around the house!

I LOVE the MOBY WRAP!!!

And so do you. 

When your cranky or not feeling well

because of your tummy

you like to be as close to mommy as possible. 

So i wrap myself up and slide you in

and a miracle happens..

You're happy!

 You still have tummy trouble,

but afterwards, all you want is me to hold you. 

Here we are at 6 weeks little girl.. all snuggly!

You're enjoying watching everything around you,

especially lights, fans, Kahuna and the 

christmas lights daddy hung around the ceiling of our living room.

You love watching moving objects, and

listening to any kind of music.

I think you prefer Christmas music

but you do enjoy animal sound lullibies!

Little girl, 

You are growing so fast, 

and catching on to things. 

You know when Mommy is around,

You know when Kahuna is near because of her collar

but when it's night time and we take her *necklace*

off, she sneaks up on you!!

You love it when Daddy comes home from work, 

and you love to hear your little musical panda 

that hangs from your carseat. 

You DO NOT like to be too hot,

but you typically love your bathtimes.

Almost each time Mommy feeds you

you or gets you to sleep in her arms

her darn insulin pump goes off. 

But I don't think you mind, 

you quite enjoy that extra vibration under your butt

or your head!!

You enjoy when we lay you flat on your back and you can

kick and groove your little body

and look around. 

When you wave your arms 

vigorously in

the air while your feeding or just finished eating

that means you need to burp

You like to be bounced around all day in

Mommy's arms and when anyone 

else holds you and she hears

that cry or whine, 

she knows you just want a little bounce in your step!

Mommy and Daddy's life will never be the same

little sweet girl

and we are so thankful for that. 

Even when we are tired,

or rushed

we have to to thank with that sweet smile

or wondering eyes 

that we are so lucky for you to be in our lives

and how lucky we are to have a 

healthy baby girl

in our home. 

Thank you little girl for being patient with us

and for letting Mommy and Daddy 

learn all about you!!

We are so lucky and 

can't believe you are almost 2 months old!!!

Plus, your just now fitting better in

0-3month clothes, so your 

wardrobe just got

about 80% bigger!!!

Bringing Elia into the world.. [part 1]

I figured i'd get as much written as I can while

the bean naps. 

I also want you all to know this has taken me a while

1. because of the time not available

2. I never really know how to start this 

and

3. I think i'm to the point where i'm a little less angry and feel

I can give you all details with out my attitude showing through. 

so here it goes..

Tuesday November 1, 2011

I had my ultrasound to check on Elia's growth.

I went alone, since Austin can't really take time off

and She was moving around beautifully, sucking on her fingers and thumbs

and we even saw her hair moving in the fluid. 

I'm still carrying more fluid than the average woman,

that put me a week over due for size (me not the baby).

At this point 38 weeks 4 days Elia was measuring

8lb10oz on her machine. From the previous Ultrasound of 7lb 15oz(i think)

two weeks earlier.

They said all was good, and no concerns other than my extra fluid. 

Which so you know, Diabetes carry more amniotic fluid

than normal pregnant mothers. There is no harm to the

baby because of this, it just means,

bigger belly, more uncomfortable

and baby(ies) get more swimming room. 

I left thinking this was my last one and no worries, she'll be here before 

I'd have to come back. 

Thanked the Lady.

I was having pretty painful contractions and having a difficult time. 

I went for a few walks to try and push this along,

as they lasted pretty long, and continued to get 

more intense. 

As they continued to increase even when I was resting

I decided along with Austin to call the Ob Doctor and see what I should do. 

After waiting for Austin to get off work, 

we went to the hospital thinking this was the beginning of labor

and after being there for a few hours,

monitoring my contractions 

and then 

making sure I wasn't leaking fluid (which i wasn't)

we were sent home. 

Not a happy camper, but I was so uncomfortable and in pain

I wasn't sure it could hurt that much worse.

Thursday November 3rd, 2011- 

I went in for my normal Non stress test at 8:30am like clockwork. I 

had these every Monday and Thursday and following my NST

on Thursday I then had my exam. 

This exam was just like the past few,

contractions still there, 

super uncomfortable- still there

baby dropped- check

and I was measuring at around 1cm dilated.

So not moving the way I want but not too big of a deal. 

OB Doctor asked me to think about what I want for

delivery methods and what is

important for me

 as far as my birth plan goes.

We discussed "our"

plan.

Well my plan, was to try to have our daughter naturally,

meaning vaginally, would be induced if I had to, but wanted to try.

I wanted to break the cycle of every diabetic i've heard of

having a C-Section. My blood pressure was beautiful, my blood sugars

were awesome,

there is no concern or reason for anything but trying naturally.

I discussed this thoroughly with my OB Doctor and we were

both clear what we wanted, discussed her due date being on the 11th,

the following Friday.

He reviewed with me, like usual what to do if I think i'm in labor,

who to call, the signs and of course

to call him if i feel anything is wrong, like

bleeding, pain in different areas which he pointed out to me

or decrease in fetal movements.

He then said he'll see me on Monday.

Weekend went and passed. Same amount of contractions 

and same pain. Now i'm to the point where this isn't labor and I'm

getting used to the pain being so intense i am just telling myself

it's supposed to get worse, and this shouldn't be this bad. 

Monday November 7th, at 10:00am I had another ultrasound

to check on Elia's size. The tech stated that

regardless of what her machine tells her, 

that her margin of error is extremely high

and would likely be incorrect

since it has only been 6 days since my last one.

Today, Elia measured in at 8lbs 11oz.

Only 1oz more than last week. 

She  discussed with me how this 

cannot be accurate and that Elia is probably well into the

9lb range. 

I left that appointment, called/texted my family and Austin's

like I do each and every time. Waiting for the follow up later

to give anyone more than Austin "real" details.

then it came for my appointment

with my OB Doctor. 1:00pm... waited for 30 minutes before getting in to 

start my NST(Non Stress Test).

Went just fine. Lots of contractions and big ones, painful ones. She was

doing just fine though, moving around.
Even though these past 2-3 NST's her movements have 

slowed down a lot, she was still punching and kicking me plenty. 

Then it came time to wait for him to come in

for my exam. 

After waiting more, keeping my blood sugar up, as it was starting to

become extra sensitive to the amount of insulin

i was taking. Also a sign of labor to come. 

He came in, all chipper and making extra nice comments, 

like how great I look pregnant right now, how my belly

looks wonderful from the side.. and other ones I don't remember anymore. 

I was tired from not sleeping and still in pain.

I was still not dilated very much, he was thinking between 1-2 cent. 

He then wanted to review my plan. 

He asked if I had discussed with my husband what I wanted for my plan.

I explained to him the same thing we've discussed the entire time,

since day 1 and we reviewed last week.

So I told him since I'm full term on Friday

that if she doesn't come before Friday on her own,

that I want to be induced on Friday, her due date. 

[ This is when I can honestly say with my whole heart, 

this man, who I had known as my honest,

understanding, compassionate OBGYN

changed. ]

In almost a joking, mildly sarcastic way

told me "well, that won't work out for me

as I am going out of town on vacation on Friday

and won't be back until Monday."

I told him that Friday was my due date,

and one of the stipulations when I changed doctors from

the Group to him was that he was supposed to be here on

my due date,

and that I would not have ANY doctors from the Group

deliver her under ANY circumstance.
(he did inform me he had other doctors that he could have as backup
instead of the group, which now i don't even believe)

He pretty much laughed that off, saying, well, 

that is what I can do. 

Looking at him in a complete loss for words,

as i TRUSTED this man, to not only

help me, take care of my health and my baby

but to be honest with me. 

He started telling me that my baby is probably well

into the 9 lb range and would be completely too big for me to 

even try and deliver. 

I explained to him, like he did so again on this past Thursday,

November 3rd, that yes, Diabetics can have bigger babies,

and when babies to diabetic mom's grow they don't grow like normal babies.

The girth of their weight is in the shoulders and the chest

therefore making it difficult or hard to deliver naturally. 

However this weight which would determine to be unsafe was 

at 9lb 15oz. 

We had no indication that Elia was even that close,

Nor was she 9lbs yet. 

He looked me in the eyes and tried many times to 

convince me THIS is what is happening to me. 

That my unborn daughter is now gaining so much weight

I won't be able to try. 

He rudely told me, since I was insisting that I wanted the

opportunity to try, that "i'll just call genesis right now, and see what they have

but you can't be mad at me when you need an 

emergency c-section."

I sat there on the table, just SHOCKED out of my mind

that his is seriously him talking to me. 

I told him I don't want to have her today, I want her on
Friday, as that is her due date. 

He told me that he is on vacation on Friday, he has to leave

very early in the am,

and would be leaving early even on Thursday.

Stunned. 

He then went on and on (sorry I don't remember every detail of this part)

about the complications of child birth. 

Over and over he told me how I as a mother need to make the decision 

I am happy with, and that no matter how this child is in this world

it's here. 

If i try naturally, I might not be able to anyways, and 

I just when through those strenuous hours pushing or 

contracting for nothing. He assured me, this happens

to almost every woman that is wanting to go 

"natural" first. 

He tried telling me that why put yourself through the pain of childbirth

when you can just have a little incision and it'll heal wonderfully

and then you'll have your baby out, without all the fatigue.

I told him I WANTED the fatigue. I wanted to be 

miserable and try to push Elia out myself. 

I explained to him again that since this is my first child we don't know what it will be like

what if i only takes a few hours, and 

she's here?

He convinced me, he's been doing this a long time

and this is not how it will go. 

That I need to TRUST him, that he knows better. 

I kept crying and telling him what about my birth plan,

why can't I have what I want. 

I told him Friday is the day, if not sooner if she comes on her own. 

Regardless of what i tried to say to him,

he wanted nothing of it. 

He then told me that I should just have the C-section, have a 

baby born after only 45 minutes and that there would be no 

worries. He then explained what will happen when I have a C-section. 

I got even more upset. I told him this is NOT what I want.

He asked me to go talk to my husband

and maybe he'll think this is a good idea too. 

I told him immediately, no.

My husband knows what I want, and he wants whatever

I want. He will not persuade me to make decisions

I am not okay with. 

OB Doctor then told me that I have two choices,

1. Try to have her naturally, be induced today, risk not dilating

and going through the labor only to push and while delivering her

I puncture this nerve (not sure what he said, not one I remember)

in her neck that can make her entire arm immobile, or even both. 

(I looked at him and told him this is a little

bit of an exaggeration) 

He told me this can happen and would if she was too big and I damaged my daughter.

He asked me how i'd feel knowing

I made this selfish decision that in the end hurt my daughter for the rest of her life? 

And that would I be able to live every day knowing she has to live damaged her entire life?

I told him I know what it is like

every single day to live your life

with something wrong with you that can't be fixed. 

He then told me, I can't compare Diabetes to not being able to use an arm. 

That it isn't the same thing. 

I told him he has no idea what it is like to have a

non curable disease and this conversation is over.

[Crying almost hysterically by this point, but still level headed to be truthful and

push for what i want told him] I don't think this is helping

me at all. I know what I want for my decision. I said I'd hope before this point there would be

red flags like you already indicated to me that would make this not continue

(such as me not dilating enough and needing a c-section anyway)

and then I told him that is why we'd then need an emergency c-section. 

he then came back to me saying, well there is a chance we wouldn't make it. 

Since you wanted this, and something went wrong, 

she could die before we had the chance to get her out of you. 

How would you feel if you killed your child because of a 

selfish decision?

I told him I'm done talking about this. 

he then went on to say my other options, 

Option 2- Have a scheduled C-section on Wednesday. 

Arrive there at 5am, get checked in, they'll get you all ready and

wheel you in. You'll get your spinal block and then within minutes you

and your husband will have your baby. And without complications. 

He told me this is the safest route for me. 

I just looked at him. 

He told me, "here, 

think about 8 weeks from now. 

Can you live with yourself knowing you knowingly

made a decision that caused your child to be immobile or even

that you killed your child? 

Could you live with yourself knowing you were so selfish and now have to bury your

newborn baby?

Could you live with yourself?"

Then he said OR, 

8 weeks from now, I could be finished healing from my

C-Section, which went perfectly,

and now I have my 8 week old safely in my arms. 

I told him he has gone too far, that this is NOT why i am here.

I told him he is not helping, and NO ONE, 

wants to EVER hear that they are making any decision 

to harm their child. NO ONE. 

That I don't appreciate him for talking to me like this, 

and that telling me I'm going to kill my child is 

a horrible thing to say to someone. 

[ sorry I have to stop here, Elia needs to be fed. I'll continue soon..]

Elia Irene....

Elia Irene Kimler

Born on 11-9-11

at 7:22am

8lbs 4 oz and 19 1/2 inches long

 

skin time..

 Best lactation consultant ever!!! Happy Elia!

 

 After a early morning feeding, stretching out with Mommy

Daddy and Kahuna time!!!

 Proud Daddy! Hanging out in her sling!

 

This is the only way i'll sleep. If she doesn't have one hand out

she cries until that little hand can touch her face. 

THANKFULLY they make swaddle blankets for 7lbs!!

And at her first Festival of Trees Parade 

enjoying  every minute of it!!!

It has been a wonderful 12 days of having her in our lives. 

It has certainly been a learning experience for the two of us

but we know this was the perfect decision we could have

ever made. 

The first day was the greatest. 

Prior to her arrival we had a very rough, 

meaning extremely heart breaking experience with my

OBGYN which I will explain in her birth story later,

however, with the want to just have her

in this world, safe, healthy and in our arms

we had her via c-section despite other plans or hopes. 

I was able to have low blood pressure and very managable 

blood sugars. 

Going into surgery, I had a great 103mg/dl and stayed in the 90's following. 

Was able to wear my pump the entire time, 

had WONDERFUL nurses and my anesthesiologist was one in a million. 

We were nervous and anxious to meet her

but once we heard her cry,

our hearts melted. 

She is forever ours and we are so

lucky and blessed to have her 

in our lives. 

No feeling, or experience having her in our arms,

or seeing her in her daddy's arms 

can be any better. 

I will let you all enjoy these sweet photos before 

getting into the details of her birth story. 

Thank you all for watching over us, praying for us, 

keeping tabs on our progress and 

wanting a healthy baby and mom as much as we did!!

In case I don't make it back in a couple days, 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Enjoy those little moments, those that would normally be upsetting, 

or those when things go wrong, like a burnt side dish or 

dry turkey. 

Just remember, there are greater things in life and the little

miracles in life are the greatest blessings. 

Enjoy family and friends

as those memories are the ones we 

carry in our hearts forever. 

-Cassie

Waiting at 38 weeks...

Sorry I have been MIA lately. 

This month sure has been busy!

Since our last post, we have been to 

A family Wedding, 

My niece and nephew turned

6!!!!

(I didn't make their cakes this year :( )

Not going to miss doing that next year. Store bought cakes are

just not the same. 

Here we are playing with the kids, 

well Emma and the adults made crafts! 

Can you tell how detailed our Birthday Cupcake was..

serious concentration.

Then after spending a wonderful weekend with my family

in the Chicagoland area

we then were blessed with a 

second baby shower!!

 This is a special photo for us, as all of these 

ladies haven't been in a photo together

in well, ENTIRELY TOO LONG. 

It was a PERFECT day, great weather and 

lots of wonderful faces I don't get to see all that often. 

I will say, at this stage you REALLY

have to get clever when it comes to clothing!:)

Then the next week we were back to the grind

of cleaning up our house, trying to finish some house projects,

and for me, getting Elia's stuff all moved in, washed, 

put away, figured out and

sanitized. 

Seriously people, it's so exciting but 

super tiring when you have such a big belly to lug around!

hehe

Don't worry, I'm not complaining. 

Then we met Mr. 38 Weeks of Pregnancy last Friday. 

It has been bittersweet. 

I've been struggling super bad with my diabetes, as it 

relates to my sensors. 

For those of  you, 

NON DIABETICS!!

A sensor is part of a Continuous Glucose Monitoring

system that reads my blood sugar every minute for a 5 minute average. 

This has been stressful when it doesn't work, but 

super awesome when it does. 

I cannot tell  you the number of 

lows I wouldn't have felt if I didn't

have a little reminder. 

However, since week 37, we've struggled and over a week ago

we did this. 

with a desperate attempt to help me this week. 

After practically crying to the NICE Medtronic Rep

(Seriously, he was the NICEST one i've talked to. 

His name was Patrick. )

We tried the arm site, which is COMPLETELY

new to this girl. 

The white part is the transmitter and the sensor which is 

inserted into my arm is the purple part. 

The plastic tape is just to keep it in place. 

Don't you worry, it is TOTALLY necessary,

as on Sunday after 3 attempts for my dear husband to change it for me

that is THREE STICKS

people from a 

harpoon of a needle. 

I then accidently ripped one completely out while handing out candy and bled. 

UGGH. So the 4th is still in today. 

And it better stay until after this baby is out. 

Oh yeah, that is where we are now. 

Wanting this little precious girl OUT OF MY BODY. 

We've continued to be monitored and both

she and I are doing well. 

She is kicked away, even though her movements 

have slowed down,

but she is definitely lower now. 

I'm just in this stage that I never thought, Me, 

and this disease would have this little girl

baking inside of me for this long. 

I'm so grateful that she is doing great and healthy. 

By this point, I'm sure it's mostly excitement, 

but now my body is super uncomfortable, 

having contractions, the pressure

the waddling, the having to use the restroom

at least twice an hour, and if I move around, watch out, 

I can't even hold it 10minutes. 

We really should have taken stock in

Charmin. lol 

But despite how grateful I am that she is 

still all cozy and warm, 

Momma wants you out little girl. 

It is super hard to concentrate on work now, 

with the million things my body is going through and

still trying to work 

so I get every extra day with her later. 

So, hopefully after this post

the next one will be

"She's HERE"

or

"We did it"

or

"Meet the World Elia"

or 

"A diabetic really DID have a healthy baby"

lol or

"MOM TOOK ALL MEASURES TO GET BABY OUT"

Which ever it is, she'll be here soon 

and we are so thankful, lucky, blessed and excited!

Don't you all worry, we WILL

post birth info and pictures up

but for now.. 

just keep us in your prayers for a safe,

and healthy Mom and Baby. 

And oh yeah, a helpful non working pancreas 

to take it easy on me. As these blood sugars are gunna be hard to control!!!

Thanks everyone!:)

-Cassie

Soon...

Soon... We'll be past 35 weeks

Soon... We'll finish the last touches of her nursery

Soon.. I'll be able to nap!

Soon... I will have time off work to enjoy being with Family

Soon... my feet with stop swelling

Soon... my house will be even more of a mess

than it is now

Soon.. We will have one more visit with family and baby shower

Soon.. We will be packing the bag for the hospital

(you read that right, still haven't gotten there)

Soon... We'll be waiting for real contractions to start

Soon.. We will be heading to the hospital..

Soon.. We will be bringing items from the hospital back for kahuna 

Soon.. We'll be delivering our Daughter

Soon.. our family will be a family of 3+ Kahuna

Soon... Austin and I will be parents. 

As uncomfortable as I am, 

As unslept as I keep becoming,

As exhausted I get from still working too much and 

too hard

We are 35 weeks tomorrow. 

in two weeks, the

17th of October we have our last little look

and Baby Elia inside me

for our LAST ULTRASOUND!!!!

It's amazing to think that in March we couldn't believe how long 

this process and journey would be. 

Now, it feels like I'll be a mom tomorrow. 

It's amazing how fast life moves,

and we don't even have born children yet. 

Regardless of anything else, 

I'm so happy to be here right now, 

this pregnant

still have Elia growing and living inside of my body

and blessed to have what we have. 

Here we are... at just shy of 35 weeks..

Of course us with Kahuna.. the ladies of the house

My front view!!

Another side view in Elia's Room!

<3 Cassie